Starting over.

Dear Me,


I am beginning my new life, I set out on this journey in mid February. What was only to be a possible two week visit turned into a permanent stay. When I tried for months to get a job in Harlingen at Forever 21, nothing. I was in town not even a week and I get the job.
I have been staying with my best friend, she helped with deciding what was the most logical step after my whirlwind relationship ended and I was deeply afraid of making the same mistakes again. I wanted to, truly in heart I wanted to stay with him   but I just couldn't give myself the chance. I couldn't let myself down, the dreams, goals and new things I saw and expected for myself. The thought of going back just made me feel disappointed, and I was sad at the idea of me being the one to take away my own happiness. As much as I missed him, us, and his family. I dont miss the way I was treated. The constant heartache, the hopelessness, the tears, wishing and  hoping he would come to his marvelous senses and then we could fix what was broken. It never happened, for two months, I knew exactly what I had to do, make plans to leave. As time crept closer, I continued to pray he was going to show up at my door step and finally tell me all I had needed to hear. Sadly, I wish I was making that up. Every day and night, teary eyed and heart broken hoping I would see him pull into my drive way, or walk right in come to me and say, "Im sorry."

Nothing. cut to a week before I leave. He had, shall I even call it perfect timing? Deep down inside I knew it would all play out the way it did. It took me having to leave for him to realize everything he had, who I was to him. I was a loving, caring, and honorable man to him. I loved him greatly and deeply, my heart was his. He took it for granted so many times.

Im happier now then I was then. I've a second chance at life, and it's scary and exciting. The starting over process is hard now for what I can tell and see. I'm okay with it though, a little hard work pays off. I know alot about hard work, I remember Michael always telling me, "You need to suffer a little, you haven't suffered enough." I'd like him to live my life from growing up and having your family fall apart, split and pending divorce, starting in 2003-2008, 2008 when I set out on my art career, all the way through when I met him then how our relationship ended, to today. Ive "suffered" enough. With him I had something I was looking for I felt I lost with in my own family. I couldn't depend on him anymore, nothing was stable. Now I can do that for myself, and it feels good doing it all for me.

Lana Del Rey

Since coming to know of Lana Del Rey and her music I was determined to paint her. She is, visually a well put together creation with which I draw inspiration from. I love vintage things and old timey gals, she sorta reaks old Hollywood Glam not to mention she seems to always be dolled up in 60s gear. I love 1960s girls. So with that being said ... which was some of my brain letting loose lol ... I've begun a conquest to create a pinup of LDR. It was tough, she has a very sculpted face and very delicate features all in one. I first thought it'd be easy to draw her. As I realized it was not all fun and games. Months passed and I haven't really given up, I have finally a completed a water color study and pencil piece. 
The images below are pretty much the development of the idea. Hope it is enjoyed.

Some new stuff!!

So its been a while since I shared anything, been busy with some life changing events. As well as a new job. Here's some stuff to keep yall happy ...

A letter to you ...

... from a healing heart,

So Im writing this to you. You text and email me as if it is okay, sure on your end, you may feel that these bridges you've destroyed are mended. They are far from where you thought you left them.

I keep myself from texting you, or contacting you in anyway. I know it will only leave me broken hearted again. How many times in the past would I text you and never get a reply? The day you ignored me in public still plays in my mind, it is a reminder of who you really are. So was the last day/night I saw you. I was reminded of who you are. I was dissapointed the moment I stepped into your car. You were different, but still the same in many ways. You changed the way you dressed, again. You've changed your diet, again. You changed your views on life again. Had another so called "awakening."

Same story, different day. Ive seen this person many different times before. Under different guises, you've not settled into the shoes of who you are, the person I fell in love with. He's gone, a memory. A lovely memory that I reflect on with love and happiness. I smile and smirk, than Im sad for it is gone. That being said, I am no longer in the position to know what you are doing with your life. If I wanted to know I would've been the one to text, email . . . wave at you.

-Xavier

Evangeline, The Oyster Girl

Just sharing two detail shots of a pinup portrait I'm doing of Kitty West, who was a burlesque dancer in New Orleans.

"Behind the Burly-Q" Book!!

Hey folks,

Just thought Id share the book trailer for "Behind the Burly-Q." A fabulous book version of the documentary. Filled with photographs, interviews and the stories of the women themselves, sure to be a treasure for any Burlesque fan or performer! Due out later this year!

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=lIZE-qGio9c&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DlIZE-qGio9c 

-Xavier

Beefcake!

Just showing a new piece I did early this morning. Its a watercolor painting of a model named Joe Napolie from the 1950s. I used a photo of him from a Vintage Beefcake magazine I bought.
Below are a couple of shots, just before and after. The pics maybe bad due to my camera phone ... but its better than nothing! Haha

-Xavier

Pushing my boundaries...

With the new year brings lots of new things. We set new goals to achieve and resolutions to better ourselves for our new year.

I've decided that it is time I push myself and my boundaries regarding my art. Over the years I've collected reasons as to why I paint beautiful women. Those reasons have grown and developed into many different aspects that define myself as an artist and who I am as human being.

I want to answer this and explain myself but I just can never find the right moment to do so. I'm currently posting blogs via my cell phone. So its kind of annoying when you want to type out a long tale about who you really are as an artist.
I want to go into detail about why I'm so interested in painting pretty women. How it all began... how I'm growing and seeing new things about myself I never knew were there before. How Ive opened my eyes to my work.

My laptop is dead. I'd like to sit with it and type away...
-Xavier

Business of Pleasure

Its a pleasure doing this business that I do. . . Some sketches for upcoming work for a future interview.
BOP BOP BOP!!
-Xavier

Simply put, Love.

I had a dream, felt real as ever. It was about my ex. We were in a new world, to me everything was different but he seemed to know everything in and out about this dream world. I was lost. Happy, warm and scared. We were floating at night, over a dark lake. Laughing, enjoying one another but yet it was awkward for I knew it was a dream.  We were mice running from some sort of hideous goblin, seeking shelter in an antique shop-where at the blink of an eye, back to our human forms, shopping in a new thrift shop on a rainy day ... "Where is he? This dream is nice but time is limited, I'm going to wake up soon..."

Looking back at it all, I'm so proud that I was able to experience Love. We had a love for one another, despite the issues. We just couldnt make it work anymore. It was a beautiful thing. A wonderful experience and it makes me envious of the time I spent with him. I now enjoy the memories when they surface. I smile, laugh and then drop it ...

We learn from our mistakes. Which of course I can see and I acknowledge all my rights and wrongs through out our relationship.

After a breakup, one's eyes open and they see the world alittle bit differently. They see themselves differently, I can see that I have grown from this experience. Its amazing. I see things in a new way.

I look forward to being able to share love again with someone in the future.

-Xavier

Changa and I...

Just up at 4am. I've got a really bad sore throat. Feels like I've got spines in my throat as I swallow. Very painful ... but I felt like getting some work done.
My ever faithful cat, Changa, is at my side as usual. You can see her, to the right. Blurry, grey and striped.

She is always where I'm at. Kitchen, she's on the counter. Bathroom, she's on the counter. Desk or drawing table, she's literally on my Sketchbook. I think she believes she's small as can be.
She knows when its time for bed and sleeps on me.
I'm on my back, she's on my chest.
I'm on my belly, she's on my back.
Same goes for if I'm asleep on my sides. You guessed it. On my upper arm.
She's my shadow. My spoiled, green eyed, lovely, grey baby girl. She's got a sweet, little meow... anyways ... that's Changa-Arania.

.... She's my leech ... haha

Brainstorm

Just some sketches for up coming pieces in pencil and watercolor.

So far..

So good. Just another update on my most recent piece.
Started detailing her face some. Blush, eyeliner, eyecolor and lipstick. All of which may look finished but still need more work done.
-Xavier

Process!!

Here's a bit of what I'm working on.
Trying a new pattern on her lingerie this time around. Something new. I figure babysteps are necessary here at this stage. Don't wanna get too cocky and then mess up!
-Xavier

Red-head

Today's work consisted of a redhead. She wasn't exactly supposed to be one, but it seems she will stay a redhead.

I will try a different technique and slightly different colors in her hair...
More work to do.
-Xavier

My Mother

Well, its very late and I can't sleep. So thought I'd share a bit of one of my inspirations, my Mother.
She has posed for me about two times. Both sessions producing many good images.
Below will be a detail shit of a drawing and a photo I took of her aswell.
-Xavier

Cupid!

Working on some new pieces.
Here are some sketches for some new paintings coming up.
-Xavier

Beefcake Collection

Hey!
Recently went on eBay in search of pinup stuff. Decided to start collecting vintage cheesecake and beefcake magazines.
So here is my first find. Delivered today.

1965 Issue of "The Male Figure."
Features dozens of cute guys in swell poses. I will definitely be painting them very soon!

My favorite model so far is Joe Napolie. I love his poses. Just what I'm looking for in for my work.

Can't wait to paint!
-Xavier

Censored

Here's some sketches for a new piece. I painted it already but I don't like the way it turned out on some new illustration board. So will start over.
There is a fuller detailed drawing and also a smaller more cartoonish version, which was the first I did before liking it and redrawing it bigger.
They are censored with little bits of tape lol
-Xavier

Hair style sketches

Just sharing two hair style sketches.
One is a 1960s bouffant style.
Second is a 1950s side swept look. Think Veronica Lake or Jessica Rabbit but with more volume.

My favorite is the side swept look. I love the expression on her face, she's beautiful. I hope to make a full piece featuring her.

Sneek Peek!

Just sharing a new piece I'm working on. The first pieces of the New Year.
I decided to push my personal boundaries/views on sex and love with this new piece. I will explain more in an upcoming entry hopefully today.